[the past] chapter 1.

If i divide my 27 years of life periodically there have been about 4 big chunks.

1. born ~ 15 yrs the year i decided not to go to high school.

2. 16 yrs ~ 20 yrs when i went to haja school after 1 year of home schooling

3. 20yrs ~ 25yrs London Life

4. 26yrs ~ now back in the mother land.

First. born ~ 15yrs

I was a normal kid. 

At school, with not such bad score, which didn't make anyone to worry about my future nor any other contrary concern, I was just a good quiet student. I hated physics and music, and loved arts and maths. I had a few very close friends, but also had good relationship with anyone at school, no enemies such. I once was bullied by a close friend who fancied the boy i fancied and for a month I had to have lunch alone. i still remember the friend's name though i can't remember the pain of being alone.

my first dream was being a teacher. at that time that was the most popular one. but when the chance i had to speak out i said i'd love to be a soldier. i just didn't wanted to repeat what the girl before me just said. The second one was a comic book illustrator. i once made a little story and few pages of comic book. the main character was a waitress serving orange juice on a rollerskate, and fall in love with a boy, can't remember how though. the third one was being a doctor and this lasted pretty long cause my mother was ill for long. i somehow figured out that is what my mom wanted me to be.

and to be a doctor, i needed to go to a "good" school. so I moved school a term before the graduation only to take the exam. it was my first girls school and I hated, and I failed the exam. After that I had few other choices of schools to go though I wanted none. while i was preparing the exam I repeatedly said that I'd just take the certificate exam for high school if I fail the exam. and I decided not to go for real and didn't enroll.  

It was a quite unusual case at that time but after sending 5 kids to the same local private school, my parents let me as i wanted. 

and i think at that moment everything in my life started to move, also needed to bear darkest period of my life for a year though.