random things

1.

recently i have been trying to sleep as late as possible.
i haven't either thought or wanted to think of the reason.
i just keep pulling up the eyelids whenever they fall down, ignore yawning
and feeling super tired in day time.

2.
i once imagined of me bumping into him on the street. coincidentally him with his new girl.
but somehow thinking that makes me happy, somewhat excited.
as if reading a teen novel.

3.
i can feel that i am turning to a selfish grumpy woman who complains of anything.
no tolerance at all.
never cares of anyone or anything
the ugliest type of people you see on the bus.
very disappointed of myself.

festival tees

made for me (6th daughter)

made for my 5th sister

[the past] chapter 1.

If i divide my 27 years of life periodically there have been about 4 big chunks.

1. born ~ 15 yrs the year i decided not to go to high school.

2. 16 yrs ~ 20 yrs when i went to haja school after 1 year of home schooling

3. 20yrs ~ 25yrs London Life

4. 26yrs ~ now back in the mother land.

First. born ~ 15yrs

I was a normal kid. 

At school, with not such bad score, which didn't make anyone to worry about my future nor any other contrary concern, I was just a good quiet student. I hated physics and music, and loved arts and maths. I had a few very close friends, but also had good relationship with anyone at school, no enemies such. I once was bullied by a close friend who fancied the boy i fancied and for a month I had to have lunch alone. i still remember the friend's name though i can't remember the pain of being alone.

my first dream was being a teacher. at that time that was the most popular one. but when the chance i had to speak out i said i'd love to be a soldier. i just didn't wanted to repeat what the girl before me just said. The second one was a comic book illustrator. i once made a little story and few pages of comic book. the main character was a waitress serving orange juice on a rollerskate, and fall in love with a boy, can't remember how though. the third one was being a doctor and this lasted pretty long cause my mother was ill for long. i somehow figured out that is what my mom wanted me to be.

and to be a doctor, i needed to go to a "good" school. so I moved school a term before the graduation only to take the exam. it was my first girls school and I hated, and I failed the exam. After that I had few other choices of schools to go though I wanted none. while i was preparing the exam I repeatedly said that I'd just take the certificate exam for high school if I fail the exam. and I decided not to go for real and didn't enroll.  

It was a quite unusual case at that time but after sending 5 kids to the same local private school, my parents let me as i wanted. 

and i think at that moment everything in my life started to move, also needed to bear darkest period of my life for a year though.

mim hello again.

mim in wonderland

moi
ici
maintenant

is a project i did when I was 19, almost 10 years ago.
with my friend aram who loves travelling and always travels.
at that time i had never been abroad.not even had a plan of it. then I suddenly left to london to study though, i never was a traveller but more of a settler  who always had a dream of having a house and neighbours and possibly a garden.
anyway, with these different ways of our dream or real life, i and aram dreamed of common future. something more sustainable and peaceful, doable and tasteful.

now, i am back in my mother land.
and most of the times too busy to think anything like that.
but the idea comes back quite often and i want to start the project again.
with my 10 years of accumulated experience or knowledge or some useless memories.

so to start,
i'll see myself, my past and present and probably future.
there i will build my wonderland again.
and live happily ever after.

boredom

boredom makes you brave so dangerous