28/08/2009
27/08/2009
value myself
i keep on thinking who i want to be like
i don't need to be like them at all in the first place
but i keep judging myself and comparing my future to their present
and i'm scared whether i'm gonna be nothing
sometimes i thought that i could be nothing
no harm no good but as a being as nothing as it exists
sounds so nice naive
still i want to be something, someone
how value myself
i don't need to be like them at all in the first place
but i keep judging myself and comparing my future to their present
and i'm scared whether i'm gonna be nothing
sometimes i thought that i could be nothing
no harm no good but as a being as nothing as it exists
sounds so nice naive
still i want to be something, someone
how value myself
22/08/2009
13/08/2009
12/08/2009
09/08/2009
self healing session 1
what i want to do
1. make books
2. printing
3. earning money
4. feel less guilty
5. drawing a lot and well
6. collage a lot and well
7. be honest
8. walk in the night
9. bin everything i have
10. have a place to live
11. pet something
12. be satisfied as it is
what i like
1. paper
2. tea
3. colours
4. patterns
5. normal life
6. train
7. attic
8. photographs
9. mountains
10. sun
11. moon
12. night sky
13. fog
14. tree house
15. maps
1. make books
2. printing
3. earning money
4. feel less guilty
5. drawing a lot and well
6. collage a lot and well
7. be honest
8. walk in the night
9. bin everything i have
10. have a place to live
11. pet something
12. be satisfied as it is
what i like
1. paper
2. tea
3. colours
4. patterns
5. normal life
6. train
7. attic
8. photographs
9. mountains
10. sun
11. moon
12. night sky
13. fog
14. tree house
15. maps
08/08/2009
answer right now
this changed me so much in very short time
maybe it's not this one only
anyway i have changed a lot.
i became impatient than any time of my life.
i want the answer right now.
i want things get done in a moment
being ready anytime.
thinking only the goal, running to the goalpost only
i, if i can still call it was me, used to take further way, curved or, even went backward often
i still think things very blurrly, non logical
but i want things to be straight, short-cut, one answer-question
i'm now a bit disgusted by myself.
because i feel i become a grown-up
i mean, who already finnished growing and just repeats things they know already and take ways which they always take.
and because i'm pretending, avoiding to accept the fact
and i'm still holding on to the scale of old me
no more exploring
no more adventure
but my mind is never been this confused.
and my writing never been this long to explain how i feel
maybe it's not this one only
anyway i have changed a lot.
i became impatient than any time of my life.
i want the answer right now.
i want things get done in a moment
being ready anytime.
thinking only the goal, running to the goalpost only
i, if i can still call it was me, used to take further way, curved or, even went backward often
i still think things very blurrly, non logical
but i want things to be straight, short-cut, one answer-question
i'm now a bit disgusted by myself.
because i feel i become a grown-up
i mean, who already finnished growing and just repeats things they know already and take ways which they always take.
and because i'm pretending, avoiding to accept the fact
and i'm still holding on to the scale of old me
no more exploring
no more adventure
but my mind is never been this confused.
and my writing never been this long to explain how i feel
25/07/2009
20/07/2009
11/07/2009
08/07/2009
02/07/2009
22/06/2009
hold
sometimes i miss the people who remember old me
who would call my old name
and who would know how i was when i was 17
who would remember how my old town was like
i am scared of losing, not remembering, not knowing them
but they are quietly fading away
i don't see them behind these vividly glowing things
today i started to worry
whether i am going to loose these like i did
miss like i do
then it seems enough reason to hold myself here
who would call my old name
and who would know how i was when i was 17
who would remember how my old town was like
i am scared of losing, not remembering, not knowing them
but they are quietly fading away
i don't see them behind these vividly glowing things
today i started to worry
whether i am going to loose these like i did
miss like i do
then it seems enough reason to hold myself here
11/06/2009
17/05/2009
reason of a move
recently i realised that i want to be a reason.
the reason to move the feet, the reason to think, the reason to make plan and the reason to be, could be.
i'm thinking of tiny things i do because of those reason.
most of my moves are for myself.
but then i do things for this person and that.
i don't know whether it's a happy thing or a good thing.
but I also realised this is greedy and maybe it can't happen
as much as i move actually only for myself.
the reason to move the feet, the reason to think, the reason to make plan and the reason to be, could be.
i'm thinking of tiny things i do because of those reason.
most of my moves are for myself.
but then i do things for this person and that.
i don't know whether it's a happy thing or a good thing.
but I also realised this is greedy and maybe it can't happen
as much as i move actually only for myself.
03/05/2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)