answer right now

this changed me so much in very short time
maybe it's not this one only
anyway i have changed a lot.

i became impatient than any time of my life.
i want the answer right now.
i want things get done in a moment
being ready anytime.
thinking only the goal, running to the goalpost only

i, if i can still call it was me, used to take further way, curved or, even went backward often
i still think things very blurrly, non logical
but i want things to be straight, short-cut, one answer-question


i'm now a bit disgusted by myself.
because i feel i become a grown-up
i mean, who already finnished growing and just repeats things they know already and take ways which they always take.
and because i'm pretending, avoiding to accept the fact
and i'm still holding on to the scale of old me

no more exploring
no more adventure

but my mind is never been this confused.
and my writing never been this long to explain how i feel