come back and do not come beck

O

oOo0ㅇ

found

at brockwell lido

the girl

the girl playing downstair is about 7
the girl who beat me last night in front of the house of the 7 year old used to be 7
and i used be 7 and i played like the girl downstair
she picks leaves from trees
she lays them on stairs
she sits next to her collection
she sings
she runs home when her mum calls her
and she screams it's gonna rain.

rain

here
rain doesn't sound at all
maybe when they touch the window

there
they slap each other in the air
and the air is half water already
you hear it than anything else
even when a bus runs
it sounds rain

autumn

i feel i'm already in autumn.
everything's to be ceased to be some nothing.
creating againt the nature.
you breathe less
use ones you already own
just wait for the time it to finish.

maybe i'm returning
hoping to return
from the tip of toes

b to no b

after dinner

from a still

it's not that i'm particularly happy but

sun goes down

next time i'm taking my watercolour yay! excited!

ugly ones

||||||

how do i do with 's'?

here or there

i used to take pictures of planes flying over my head with my finger camera.
i can't remember why i did. anyway it was popular among my friends.
but today i just wished that to take me to the right place to be.

O

kimchi
cheese
wiskey
waikiki!

hello

i am

starry night

wanted to try this for long time

*

happen

the thing is i don't know what i want to say anymore.
i'm not into anything.
i haven't fought for anything but i always had something to talk about.
about Orientalism, consumerism, war and environmental problems etc.
i still think about some of them
but i don't know whether i can or want to talk about these.
neither there is any who wants to listen to these.

then i only focus on my life.
actually it's difficult enough to deal with.
i can't see how i'd be tomorrow.
or next year.

i hope things but never sure these can happen.

i think become more dependant on the word 'happen' than any other words.

like a bomb dropped next to my garden.

have i had this before?

4 legs

abcd

i'm plant-sitting

i went tokyo

and
i went mingeikan

A new start

나는 사선死線에 서 있지 않다. 하지만 지금 내려야할 결정, 결심은 나를 벼랑끝 나무에 걸린 잎파리처럼 바들바들 떨게한다. I can go a step backward. 뒷걸을질을 한다. 벼랑을 등지고 아빠다리를 하고 앉아 미스터리소설을 읽는다. 친구에게 전화를 건다. 궁금하지도 않은 이야기를 묻고 그의 이야기로 나를 채운다. 딱딱한 베이글을 물도 없이 억은 듯 속을 꽉 메우고 두리번 거리며 무엇이든 정신을 빼앗을 것을 찾는다. You already made a decision. 저 아래에서 더 이상 고민하기 싫은 듯 툭하고 내 뱉어버린다. 하지만 역시 맘이 가벼워지질 않는다. 내가 포기해야 할 것은 무엇일까. 이 차고 넘치는 허전함, 아무일도 일어나지 않은 듯 같은 표정을 짓고 똑같은 아침을 먹으며 내일을 기다리는 것. 나를 행복하게 했던 것들은 어디에서 무엇을 했냐보다 누구와 함께였는지가 더 생생하게 떠오르는 것들이다. 그리고 그 모두의 배경은 굳이 따지자면 여기 런던이지만 그보다 지난 5년을 내가 이곳에 있었다는 것을 감안하면 너무나 당연하게 생각된다. '새로운 시작'이라는 것을 하고싶다. 그리고 그것은 어떤 외부의 요인보다 내 안으로부터의 변화라고 변하지 않는 진리를 설파하 듯 명료하고 만질 수 없다. A new start.

hesitate

i can smile at you more often or more brightly but

i would never be able to like you as you are

dots

+ + +

icebergs